“Who is that girl I see, staring straight, back at me? Why is my reflection someone I don’t know?” – Mulan, Disney
I’ve probably only seen Mulan like one time and honestly I wasn’t a huge fan but I’m just so amped to go to Disney next month that I wanted to stick with a Disney quote! I haven’t been in so long and apparently they got these dope wrist band thingy’s now and you can book rides in advance and PIZZA PLANET! Ughh!
Anyways, being that we’re a little over mid-way through 2016 (I know, what the h*ll?), I feel that it’s time that we too, like our dearest friend Mulan, take a look in the mirror and tell ourselves what we see.
Self-reflection, in my opinion, is one of the most essential and creative ways we can influence our lives before we even get out of bed or put forth an effort towards our goals. I’m really upset with myself that I took so long to talk about this topic since its practically step one in improving ourselves and getting what we want out of life.
Imagine that our life is a movie. First things first, we need to assign our own sweet theme music for our movie (pick whatever you’d like, Taylor Swift, Drake, Kanye. I’d probably go with Shawn Michael’s theme music from WWE, but that’s just me). Next, let’s imagine ourselves watching our own movie. It’s got everything right? The ups, the downs, the laughs, the tears, a couple of boring parts, but a couple of incredible parts as well.
Now, when were watching a movie, we’re just observing. We’re taking it all in. We’re letting ourselves experience it and witnessing how it begins and how it ends. It isn’t until the movie is over that, while stepping over empty popcorn boxes and finishing what’s left of our Mike & Ike’s (does anyone still eat those?) that we reflect on the film and let our friends know our expert analysis of the whole thing.
But what if we could reflect on the movie during the movie…and change it?! What if mid-way through we think “this part totally blows how about another action sequence” and then BAM!, just like Emeril spicing up those meatballs we got ourselves an action sequence.
That’s self-reflection and that is what it can do for us. It lets us look inside ourselves and see what’s really going on instead of jumping from scene to scene without understanding where the movie is headed.
I tried my best to keep this list of questions short as obviously, with self-reflection, it’s easy to get caught up in asking hundreds of different questions that can lead to seriously over-thinking things (which I have a crazy tendency to do).
Therefore, I came up with these 11 questions, which I have asked myself this morning and have come up with my own answers, to really dig deep into self-reflection and truly examine our inner being.
- Am I truly happy?
A simple question, yet incredibly difficult to answer. This question allows us to define happiness to ourselves and what it means to us.
More-so, it asks us to look past possessions, memories, and outside forces and to look solely at the present moment. Our present thoughts and present being.
More than likely, thinking about this questions will lead us to…
- What will it take to make me happy/keep me happy?
Here’s where we can really define our current situation and what we can do to make or keep ourselves happy.
Do we need a better job? A bigger house? Do we need to improve our relationships? Our health? Our goals? Our personality or well-being? Our financial security?
Are we OK? Do we have enough? Can we be grateful for what we do have? Can we smile at our life?
I keep thinking about Hakuna Matata and how I want to fit it in here somewhere! Anyways, next!
- What makes me upset/angry/unhappy?
I am a firm believer that the stressors or negative emotions that we experience are not something that we should actively avoid but are something we should listen to.
Frustration can show that we need to make a change in our life.
Guilt can show that we need to forgive ourselves for past mistakes.
Jealousy can show that we need to focus less on other people and more on ourselves.
Therefore, it is helpful to know what causes these negative emotions and reflect on them. What is it that makes us feel this way and should we do something about it? Or should we change ourselves?
- What do I love the most about myself?
Self-love is the best love. What is it about us that we love the most? A physical feature? A personality trait? The way we dress? The way we dance?
Do you have moves like Jagger?
- What do I love the least about myself?
This is a great question to start with setting a goal for changing who we are. Can we be healthier? Exercise more? Can we increase our self-confidence or self-esteem?
Overall, having a good self-image is about realizing that how we feel about ourselves determines who we are, not how others feel about us. Therefore, it’s important to ask this question and drown out what others might say and focus on exactly what we think.
Furthermore, this answer can be nothing! We can truly love everything about ourselves…there’s certainly no fault in that.
- Who is the one person I can count on?
A question on the strength of our relationships. Imagine we just lost our job, or our house burned down, or some pr*ck running a Ponzi scheme stole all our money, who do we turn to? Who is that go to phone call or text who would literally do whatever it takes to help us out?
Moving from this, does this person know this? Can we remind them? What would we do for them?
- Where do I want to be a year from now?
Ahh I hate this questions! It’s always that one question we come back to and try and picture how things are suppose to be in the future. I mean look at who might be president in the next few months…who KNOWS how things will turn out (I sincerely apologize for putting anything political in here, but seriously, it fits)?!
However, this question is absolutely essential to answer. If we don’t know exactly where we want to be, how are we ever going to get there? So, let’s break it down, all the logistics. Where in the world? With whom? Doing what? As many details as possible. Having a clear focus of our future will ensure we end up right where we want.
- What kind of person do I want to be a year from now?
Are there things we can change about ourselves? Do we like all the things we think about? All the things we say? Do we like all of the things we do?
We are completely capable of changing everything about ourselves, right down to how we feel about every situation and how we react to anything. So, what kind of person do we want to be?
- If I knew no one was going to judge me, what would I do?
Besides run around naked through the streets, let’s be serious here!
Are there things in our life that we don’t do because of social standards or fear of judgment? Do we say no to things or have doubts on our actions based on what others might say?
Answering this can help us find our true calling and what we really want to do with our life, regardless of what the world thinks or doesn’t think.
- Am I living every day to its fullest?
I read a very short quote today that simply read “People act like they’re going to live twice” and it really hit home right away.
Regardless of what age all of us are, the end is going to come sooner or later, so are we making every day count? Every hour count?
Are we living the life we want or the life we have to live?
Yikes, I’m scaring myself now. How about an easy one!
- Am I capable of achieving my dreams?
There really is only one answer here and the answer is YES! Yes, everyone of us is capable of achieving exactly what we want to achieve, not matter what! These self-reflections are meant to make us think deeply about ourselves, our desires, our relationships, and our well-being, but more importantly, they’re meant to show us that our life is completely in our control and we are capable of achieving anything and everything we want, or becoming the exact person we want to be.
Look in the mirror, love that person, and make them into someone you can’t wait to wake up to every day!